Hypnotherapy for low libido and arousal

Yes, it's normal for your sex drive to change over time, with your age, health, stress levels and relationship. A large British survey, Natsal-3, found that lacking interest in sex was common among both men and women. It becomes a problem when it bothers you or puts a strain on your relationship.

A low sex drive is common, and for many people it's a natural response to stress, tiredness or pressure. Everyone's sex drive is different, and some people are happy wanting sex rarely. Hypnotherapy can help if your sex drive bothers you, or you'd like to feel desire again.

Many people with a low sex drive say they feel broken, especially if they used to enjoy sex. You might love your partner and want to want sex, yet feel switched off when the moment comes. Hypnotherapy can help you feel kinder towards yourself, which can help desire return.

Worrying about your sex drive adds to your stress, and stress is one of the quickest ways to switch off desire. The more you check whether you're in the mood, the harder it is to relax into it. Hypnotherapy can help you let go of the worry, so you can relax and enjoy being close.

Your sex drive can drop after the honeymoon phase because the excitement of a new relationship fades, and everyday life takes over. Natsal-3 found that, for women, lacking interest in sex was more common in relationships lasting over a year. Hypnotherapy can help you feel relaxed and playful again, so you can enjoy being close.

A dead bedroom is a term people use online for a relationship where sex has become rare or stopped. In these communities, the partner with the lower sex drive is often called LL, for low libido, and the other HL, for high libido. Hypnotherapy can help if you're the partner with the lower sex drive and would like to feel more desire.

A low sex drive often has more to do with stress, tiredness and pressure than with how you feel about your partner. Many people say they love and fancy their partner, yet still feel switched off. Hypnotherapy can help you relax and reconnect with that attraction, so intimacy feels easier again.

Sex can feel like a chore when it becomes about keeping your partner happy or avoiding another argument. Many people describe it as one more job on the to-do list, or a box to tick. Hypnotherapy can help you let go of the pressure, so closeness feels like something you want.

Having sex out of duty can make it worse, because your mind learns to link intimacy with pressure and guilt. Many people say they go along with it to keep the peace, then feel distant or resentful afterwards. Hypnotherapy can help you feel confident to say what you'd like, so intimacy feels like a choice.

You can ease the guilt by remembering that a low sex drive is common, and talking about it at a calm moment. Many people worry their partner will hear it as rejection, so they agree to more than they want. Hypnotherapy can help you let go of guilt and feel comfortable saying what you'd like.

You can ask for cuddles that are just cuddles by raising it at a calm moment, so you both know where you stand. Knowing a hug is just a hug can take the pressure off, and many people find desire returns more easily. Hypnotherapy can help you feel relaxed and confident asking for the closeness you'd like.

It's hard to talk about your sex life because it can quickly turn into pressure, blame or counting how long it's been. Natsal-3 found that difficulty talking about sex was linked with lacking interest in it, for both men and women. Hypnotherapy can help you stay calm in these conversations and say what you need.

Your sex drive can drop after moving in together because everyday routine replaces the excitement of seeing each other. If one of you works from home, there may be little chance to miss each other. Hypnotherapy can help you feel relaxed and playful again, and enjoy time together that feels special.

Yes, hypnotherapy can help your relationship, as you feel calmer, more confident and more open with your partner. When you feel relaxed, affection is easier to give and enjoy. That can bring you closer, in and out of the bedroom.

Yes, hypnotherapy can help if your sex drive has dropped during perimenopause, the years leading up to your last period. Many women notice anxiety, brain fog, mood swings and broken sleep at the same time, which can make desire feel like a distant memory. Hypnotherapy can help you feel calmer and more in control, so you can enjoy closeness again.

Many women go off sex during menopause because tiredness, hot flushes and changes in their body leave them feeling far from sexy. In interviews collected by the University of Oxford, women described losing interest in sex, with one calling it another chore on her to-do list. Hypnotherapy can help you feel calmer and more comfortable in your body, so intimacy feels possible again.

Touched out is a term parents use when a day of holding, feeding and being climbed on leaves them wanting their body to themselves. By the evening, even a loving touch from your partner can feel like one more demand. Hypnotherapy can help you unwind at the end of the day, so you have time and energy for yourself and your partner.

It's hard to switch your brain off during sex when you're carrying the mental load of work, children and the to-do list. Some people also find themselves wondering when it will be over. Hypnotherapy can help you calm your thoughts and stay in the moment.

Men often lose interest in sex because of work stress, tiredness, low mood or worry about performance. It can creep up gradually, until you realise you're avoiding bedtime or making excuses. Hypnotherapy can help you switch off from pressure and feel more like you again.

Yes, worry about performance can lower your sex drive, because your mind starts to link sex with the fear of letting your partner down. After a few difficult experiences, avoiding sex can feel safer than risking it again. My sexual problems hypnotherapy page has more on erection problems and performance anxiety.

You may feel guilty because your partner reads it as rejection, or because of the idea that men should always want sex. Many men say they're happy to have sex, but rarely feel the urge to start it. Hypnotherapy can help you let go of the guilt and feel more confident and playful.

Yes, work stress can lower your sex drive, especially when long hours leave you too tired to switch off. When your mind is still on emails and deadlines, it's hard to feel present with your partner. Hypnotherapy can help you leave work at work, so you can relax at home.

For some people, porn use becomes part of a pattern of feeling aroused by porn yet switched off with a partner. Stress, relationship difficulties and performance worries can also be involved. My porn addiction hypnotherapy page has more on how I can help you understand and change the pattern affecting you.

Stress can lower your sex drive, and the NHS lists it among the causes. When you are tense, tired or preoccupied, it can be hard to relax and feel desire. Hypnotherapy can help you unwind and address the worries and subconscious associations that have been getting in the way.

Yes, anxiety can affect your sex drive, because sex works best when you feel safe and relaxed. Anxiety keeps fight or flight switched on, which can make it hard to feel aroused or enjoy being touched. Hypnotherapy can help calm anxiety, so your body can relax and respond.

Yes, depression and low mood can affect your sex drive, and Natsal-3 found depression was linked with lacking interest in sex. When you feel flat, tired and disconnected, sex can feel like one more thing you have to do. Hypnotherapy can help lift your mood, which can help your interest in sex return.

Yes, hypnotherapy can help with many common causes of a low sex drive, including stress, anxiety, low mood, poor sleep and low confidence. Working on these can help your sex drive, because desire is closely linked to how you feel day to day. We focus on what's affecting you most, so your sessions are tailored to you.

Yes, tiredness can affect your sex drive, and many people say they're too exhausted for sex by bedtime. Good sleep, especially REM sleep, the dreaming stage of sleep, helps you recover from stress and wake with more energy. Hypnotherapy and the personalised recording can help you fall asleep more easily and sleep well.

Yes, hypnotherapy can help you feel more comfortable and confident in your body, whatever your age or shape. Weight gain, ageing skin or changes after children can leave you feeling unattractive, and wanting the lights off. Ego strengthening can help you feel good about yourself, so you can relax and enjoy being close.

Yes, hypnotherapy can help if you feel guilty, embarrassed or ashamed about sex or your own desire. These feelings often come from messages picked up growing up, and they can make it hard to relax and enjoy yourself. Hypnotherapy can help you let go of shame and feel comfortable with your own desire.

Positive suggestion is the use of clear, encouraging statements in hypnosis, when your mind is relaxed and open to change. For low libido, that might be suggestions for feeling relaxed, close and comfortable with desire. Repeated on the personalised recording, these suggestions can help new responses feel natural.

Ego strengthening is a set of suggestions that build self-belief and remind you of your strengths and past successes. It's useful when guilt, body worries or relationship strain have knocked your confidence. It helps you feel good about yourself, in and out of the bedroom.

Anchoring links a calm feeling to a small physical cue, like pressing your thumb and finger together. You can use it whenever you start to tense up, before or during intimacy. Over time, the cue brings back that calm state quickly.

Reframing is looking at a situation in a new way, so it feels more manageable. A cuddle can become a chance to enjoy closeness, and a slower week can become a natural dip. In hypnosis, the new view can feel more natural, so it sticks.

EFT, or Emotional Freedom Techniques, involves tapping on points on your face, upper body and hands while you focus on a feeling. I may use it to help you feel calmer about anxiety or guilt around intimacy. We can explore whether it suits you alongside hypnosis.

A useful technique is to breathe out for longer than you breathe in, which helps calm your stress response. You can use it when your partner makes a move, or when your mind starts racing in bed. I teach you this alongside anchoring, so you have quick tools for tense moments.

Self-hypnosis is a skill I teach you, so you can relax and refocus your mind on your own. You can use it in the evening to unwind, or before time with your partner. With practice, it takes a few minutes.

Mental rehearsal is picturing yourself handling a tricky moment calmly, while you're relaxed in hypnosis. You might picture enjoying a cuddle, talking openly with your partner or feeling desire build as you relax. Where helpful, we rehearse these moments, so they feel familiar and comfortable in real life.

Low libido hypnotherapy works by helping you change the thoughts, feelings and subconscious associations that have made intimacy feel difficult. I guide you into hypnosis, a relaxed state of focused attention, and use suggestions and therapeutic techniques tailored to you. We work on what has been getting in the way, so you can feel more relaxed, confident and open to desire.

Each session combines a solution-focused conversation with time in hypnosis, while you sit back with your eyes closed. Your first session is the initial consultation, which includes hypnosis, and later sessions start with what's gone well since we last met. After each session, you have the personalised recording to listen to at home.

The personalised recording is the audio of your hypnosis session, for you to listen to at home between sessions. Many people listen at bedtime, when it can help them unwind and sleep well. Listening regularly helps reinforce the positive changes we make together.

Yes, you stay in control throughout hypnosis, aware of what's happening and able to open your eyes at any time. Hypnosis is a natural, focused state, a bit like being absorbed in a good book. Most people find it very relaxing, and you come out feeling refreshed and alert.

Yes, you can have low libido hypnotherapy online by secure, encrypted Zoom, from the comfort of your own home. Many people find it easier to talk about intimate subjects from a private, familiar space. My online hypnotherapy page has more detail.

Low libido hypnotherapy sessions are private and confidential, with confidentiality explained when we begin. I offer a discreet service, arranged directly with me, and I am registered with the Information Commissioner's Office, number ZB654528. My privacy policy explains how I look after your information.

You only share what you're comfortable with, and you can keep the details private. Solution-focused hypnotherapy focuses on how you'd like to feel, so we spend our time on what you want. I've been practising for over 20 years, and sessions are calm, discreet and judgement-free.

You can come on your own because sessions are one to one. Many people prefer to focus on themselves first, at their own pace, in a private and confidential appointment.

The number of sessions varies from person to person, depending on what you'd like to work on. We talk it through at your initial consultation, so you know what to expect.

My fees are listed on my prices page, and I'm happy to answer any questions before you book. You can contact me to book your initial consultation.

When choosing a hypnotherapist, look for recognised qualifications, professional insurance and experience with intimate and relationship issues. The Professional Standards Authority's hypnotherapy safety checklist helps you check training, insurance and complaints procedures. I hold the SQHP and HPD qualifications and have been practising as a clinical hypnotherapist since 2003.

I am Susannah Saunders, a clinical hypnotherapist in the City of London. I founded City Hypnotherapy Centre in 2003, after two years as an assistant clinical psychologist in NHS Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services. I have a BSc (Hons) in Psychology, HPD and SQHP qualifications. My GHR registration number is 3034 and my CNHC registration number is CNHC10269.

I can help with the stress, pressure and thoughts behind wanting to want sex while rarely feeling in the mood. You might miss enjoying sex and feel frustrated that desire seems to have disappeared. We talk about when this changed and use hypnosis to work on what has been getting in your way.

Low desire means having little interest in sex, while difficulty getting aroused means your body or feelings are not responding as you would like when intimacy starts. They can happen together or separately. We discuss both, including stress, confidence, comfort and any health or medication changes, so your sessions focus on your experience.

Hypnosis can help with anxiety, pressure and subconscious associations that make arousal feel different with a partner. You may feel comfortable on your own but start worrying about expectations when someone else is involved. We can work on feeling relaxed and communicating what you enjoy, at a pace that feels right for you.

Talking to your GP can help you understand a new or persistent change in your sex drive, particularly with pain, dryness, erection changes, tiredness or a change in medication. Hormones, health conditions and medicines can all play a part. Hypnotherapy can support the emotional side, including stress, anxiety, confidence and pressure around sex.